Five seconds. That’s how long Harvard University professors say it takes a new person to form a lasting judgement about you.
Research by Princeton scholars suggests you have an even shorter window to make a good first impression. In their experiments, participants were able – with 70% accuracy – to predict which political candidate would win an election, based on just one tenth of a second’s worth of video footage.
But as important as first impressions are to your career success, a 100% success rate is unrealistic. Personalities clash, jokes backfire, cultural differences create misunderstandings and off-days can easily render you less than your usual, sparkling, brilliant self.
The good news? Those Harvard psychologists who insist you’ve just a handful of seconds to win hearts and minds, acknowledge that it’s also entirely possible to change a first impression gone wrong. The key to doing so lies in understanding the psychology at play in those precious few moments of any new encounter.
THE “OVERTHINK” FACTOR
You’ve plucked up the courage to attend your first networking event but your nerves get the better of you. The more people you speak to, the more you feel able to relax and be yourself, but the following day you stress as you recall those early chats where you dominated conversations and forgot to listen to others. Surely they’re going to decline your invitation to connect on LinkedIn, will avoid you at all future gatherings, and who knows what opportunities you’ll miss out on because they’ll forevermore remember you as an overbearing chatterbox.
Psychologists call this catastrophising. First, you ruminate (or overthink) the situation, examining it in minute detail. Second, you magnify its significance, imagining it to hold far more weight than it really does. Third, helplessness kicks in, whereby you believe that you’re entirely powerless to turn the situation around to showcase yourself in a more positive light.
If you think you might have made a bad first impression, take an honest assessment of the damage. Are you being overly sensitive? What is the evidence that the worse case scenario you’re playing out in your mind could become a reality? Is there a genuine concern about the impact on your reputation? Then look at whether the opinion of this individual is imperative to the future success of your career, your team or your organisation and, if necessary, assertively take control. Own up to your mistake. Apologise once and without grovelling. Ask for a chance to make it better and make a plan to do just that.
When putting your plan into action, remind yourself that persistence pays off. Admit that your blunder was the result of ill-formed cultural etiquette or a particularly stressful week and that might be enough to wipe the slate clean. But it’s more likely that you’ll need to put the work in. Psychologists say that once you’ve created a bad impression, it takes eight subsequent positive encounters to get back on an even keel. Whether it’s making small talk while waiting for the lift, or inviting someone for a quick coffee, look for opportunities to positively engage in normal day-to-day ways.
THE WARMTH AND COMPETENCE EQUATION
Can I trust this person? And can I respect this person? These are the two questions that Harvard professor Amy Cuddy (of “power posing” fame) says that people quickly and subconsciously ask themselves when they first meet you. The psychology community refers to this as ‘Warmth and competence’ – something they say accounts for up to 90% of a first impression and which applies across all cultures.
When you’re questioning what sort of first impression you might have made on a new colleague, rather than examine the problem in general terms, ask yourself to what degree you’ve given that person reason to view you as trustworthy and as credible. Then, if necessary, make a plan for better exhibiting these traits on your next meeting. If you appeared shy or standoffish, ensure you have interesting conversation starters ready for your next face-to-face. If your extrovert tendencies made you appear overbearing, you know you need to dial up your listening skills. If you made too many jokes, it’s time to let your serious side shine through. Remember though that authenticity is always best, so work out how you can channel the impression you hope to make through your own best behaviours.
FLATTERY CAN TAKE YOU A LONG WAY
Winning friends and influencing people, says Wharton School’s Professor Adam Grant, is a lot to do with to what extent you authentically deliver compliments (in his experiments, negotiators were more likely to strike successful deals which made all parties happy when they asked those across the table for their opinions). Asking for advice or a favour not only flatters the other person by showing that you take them seriously and value their ideas and beliefs; it also demonstrates that you’re humble, open and willing to learn.
Crucially, it also means that you can build a balanced, two-way relationship because the door will be open for you to return the favour in future.
THE EGALITARIAN GOAL
Most people strive to be as fair as possible in their treatment of others – something psychologists refer to as having an ‘egalitarian goal’. Reminding someone of this can reinforce their desire to give you the benefit of the doubt. If you’re in a position of needing to apologise for or explain your behaviour, letting someone know that you perceive them to be a fair and unbiased person could activate their determination to be just that.
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