The power of influence can lead to great things as it impacts so many areas of your work. You influence when you negotiate holiday time, liaise with clients, are in a meeting or when making decisions. But do you have the right skills to be a great influencer?
There are times, such as when you need to influence without authority, that you need to have the skills that will help you encourage people, or to think differently, to trust your judgement, enable you to make a stand, and much more.
Key influencing skills
First of all, think of some examples of when you have been influenced, both positively and negatively. Then think of the skills that were used and jot them down according to whether they were effective or ineffective.
The everywoman workbook, Extending your influence (available for free download by members), shows four key ways to influence with advice on how to build your skills in each area.
- Communication
- Questioning – ask open questions that will help uncover someone’s perspective on an issue as this will identify what is important to them. Many of these questions start with why, where, who, and/or what.
- Listening – listen to really understand what the other person is saying, engage in active listening and don’t interrupt! Active listening involves really paying attention so you can repeat, paraphrase and feedback.
- Speaking – summarise the other person’s ideas so that you can build rapport and show you are on the same page.
- Reasoning and analysis – use visual tools and graphs, data, research and storytelling to support your perspective and communicate your ideas and strategies
- Non-verbal behaviour – build engagement by using open body language and tune into the other person’s non-verbal behaviours
- Emotional Intelligence
- Self-awareness – be aware of the impression you are making
- Self-belief – be confident in your opinions, ideas and judgement
- Perspective shifting – put yourself in the other person’s shoes and appreciate how they would see the situation. Writing this down may help you focus on them and not you.
- Empathy and building rapport – be authentic in your behaviours and genuinely interested in the other person.
- Emotion management – show enthusiasm and passion, be true to yourself and your ideas.
- Assertiveness
- Persistence – understand that there will always be obstacles in your way. Keep on your path and be tenacious and determined in your goal.
- Confidence – know what you believe in and have faith that you can achieve it
- Use power effectively – do you have experience and expertise that you are not tapping in to? Do you use your role and level to effect the change expected of you?
- Visioning
- Know what you want to achieve – explore the best way to share your vision with others and be willing to state your expectations
- Collaborative thinking – understand what is up for discussion and how both parties can achieve success
- Understand everyone’s currency
- What is important to you? What is important to the other party?
- What are you prepared to give up? Where do they have room to manoeuvre?
- Open mindedness – be open about the information you have and are aware of. Goal post changing is really another opportunity to get it right!
- Think creatively – the first approach is not always the best one
- Bridge discussions and opportunities – help facilitate resolution in conflicts and allow everyone to have their say.
Exercise
Go back to the list of examples you jotted down earlier of when you have been influenced, both positively and negatively. Using the information above, think about what you need to do more of, and what you should do less of, to build your influencing skills.
The above advice has been taken from the everywoman workbook, Extending your influence, that can be downloaded for free by members of the everywomanNetwork.
