Career surgery: successful solutions to common workplace woes (part two)

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Your questions answered by everywoman experts. Got a question? Drop us a line at [email protected]

For many everywomanNetwork members, autumn is the time in the corporate calendar for focusing on personal development and addressing those issues that threaten to hold us back.

Following our last career surgery, you got in touch in droves with questions for our everywoman expert team – and we’ve chosen a handful of the most common issues affecting our members.

 

Recently a colleague sent out a report containing incorrect information and when challenged said that the error stemmed from my work. I accepted the feedback but in my next 1-2-1 I offered my side of the story and proposed I should
support the colleague in question with her next report. I am worried this came across as petty?

Passing blame in the corporate world isn’t a new phenomenon (it became so pervasive in work-life during the mid 20th century that US President Harry Truman allegedly hung a sign on the Oval Office stating ‘The buck stops
here’).

Blame can be highly upsetting. In fact, ‘looking stupid’ or ‘appearing wrong’ in front of others is the biggest source of fear at work among
everywoman Network members (more than double that of ‘speaking in public’ and four times that of ‘losing your job’). There is also evidence to suggest it’s highly contagious. A study by Stanford Business School found that being exposed
to a ‘blamer’ is more likely to see other team members point the finger when things go wrong. So the fact that you accepted the feedback is to your credit, and an important move in demonstrating that you value taking personal
responsibility.

By offering a solution (giving your ‘blamer’ support in future analysis of your data) you’ve taken a positive step. But the fact that you’re worried this came across as petty suggests you’re uncomfortable with your own style of
response. Perhaps the fact you did this through your boss is leaving you feeling like you lacked assertion in dealing with the matter? If this is the case, it might be time to clear the air by talking to the colleague in question.

Before you do it would be wise to dial up your empathy. Try to get inside your colleague’s head and view the situation from their perspective. Is there
the smallest grain of truth to what was said? Is there insecurity on their part that lay behind their handling of the situation? Can their apportioning of blame be reframed as an admission of misunderstanding on their part? Are they
known for this kind of behaviour or is it out of character?

Armed with this knowledge, speak to your colleague, remaining calm, sticking to the facts and focusing on how a similar situation could be avoided in future. The conversation might be a test for your levels of basic, contextual and
empathic assertion, all of which are outlined in the everywoman Network quiz How assertive are you?.

 

What is the best way to get support for a strong personality? I have been described as vivacious, friendly and loud and worried that these traits, coupled with looking young for my age, mean I am not taken seriously. The women I
admire further up the ladder all appear more elegant and composed than I feel.

 

Authenticity in the workplace has been a much-discussed topic of late, with senior figures like Facebook’s Sheryl Sandberg, Yahoo!’s Marissa
Mayer and Coca-Cola’s Wendy Clark – all of whom have very different characters and styles – praised for their authentic approach to leadership. At the heart of an authentic leader is an ability to be his or herself while also having the
self-awareness to flex up or down as a situation sees fit – something it seems you have, given that you’re aware of your strengths (vivacious and friendly) and possible limitations (loudness). Be aware of when demonstrating your
outspokenness can be a great enabler (in a brainstorm where few others are reluctant to speak up, for example) or when you might need to tap into your inner introvert. It’s a great first step in managing your
own personal brand so that it works for and not against you.

If you take a look at some of the leaders who are praised for their authentic communication style (there’s a whole long list in our workbook
Powerful workplace communication), you’ll get a sense of the diversity in their characteristics. While it’s great you have ‘elegant’ and ‘composed’ role models,
it’s a myth that success at work is limited to such characteristics, and to attempt to fit into this cookie cutter mould is unlikely to result in either professional or personal success. Can you
network wider – beyond your department, organisation or even industry if necessary – to find role models, mentors or sponsors who’ve succeeded with similarly extrovert characters?

As for ‘looking young’, the volume of Google hits for searches on this theme in relation to career success is rivalled only by searches on the topic of looking ‘too old’ to get ahead. Robin Ryan, author of Over 40 & You’re Hired,
found that younger candidates are often considered to be more eager, more adaptable, with more initiative and a ‘fire-in-their-belly attitude’. What comes through clearly in the advice given by various publications – from Harvard
Business Review to the Financial Times – on this topic, is that confidence is the key to winning people over, whatever age you appear to be to the outside world. Consider the ways
in which your age is a distinct advantage in your role today. How can you project more of these benefits through your personal brand?

 

My boss has a very dominant personality and I find myself regularly talked over in meetings on account of my quieter personality. How can I ensure I don’t get lost without having to change my character and be something I’m not?

There is a place for all types of personalities at the board room table – Susan Cain’s popular TED talk on the power of
introversion has unleashed a huge amount of interest in the value that quieter individuals bring to the corporate world. If you read the question from another member above, you’ll see that extroverts worry that their loudness can too
have a detrimental effect on their careers.

So how can you politely interrupt or speak up in a way that ensures you aren’t talked over, without compromising your integrity as an introvert? Take the advice of everywoman Club member
Mitzie Almquist, who says that the art of interruption is a critical career skill if you want to get ahead:

“To be heard you have to appropriately, respectfully interrupt. Recognise why you’re interrupting. Ensure it’s legitimate. The conversation is a soup. Everyone’s throwing in their carrots and potatoes. Will the soup be richer with your
ingredient in there too?

Own your interruption. Acknowledge you’re doing it. ‘I’m going to interrupt here if I can because I’d like to say something.’ ‘I know I’m cutting you off but I have something that fits perfectly here.’ Know that to do this as a junior
person gains you respect. The senior person doesn’t have on their agenda to shut out the junior. There’s a reason you’re at the table.”

For other great tips on this topic, including preparing your points in advance and ensuring you raise them as early as possible into the conversation’s allotted time – see the section called ‘The listening contract’ in our workbook
Powerful workplace communication.

Another option is to look at the ways that your introversion skills can be combined with your boss’s extroversion to create a formidable partnership. Discover more about forging a junior partnership in the workbook
Managing upward with success.

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