“You must do the thing you think you cannot do,” said Eleanor Roosevelt. As true a sentiment as this may be, what the First Lady’s words don’t do – just like the many other famous utterances urging you to charge ahead fearlessly – is provide a blueprint for exactly how to prise fear’s grip off your precious goals and dreams.
The many emails we receive through our career surgery demonstrate just how debilitating an affect fear can have on career growth. Below we investigate five of the most common, along with the first steps you can take to ensure you don’t miss your chance to shine.
First, a quick word on fear: fear is often spoken of in terms of something that is to be ‘overcome’ in order for success to follow. This mentality is unhelpful, since fear is not something that can simply be eradicated. Just ask the public speaker who spends a sleepless night worrying about her moment in the spotlight. Instead, think about what everywoman expert Sally Kettle describes as “feeling the fear but doing it anyway”. It is through acting out the very thing you fear that you build experience, self-confidence and resilience to fear’s affects (read more about breaking the fear cycle).
1. Fear of what other people think: “I want to go for a promotion, but worry what colleagues in my close-knit team will think.”
Worrying about what others think to the point of inaction can prevent you from following your dreams. Perhaps you are resisting applying for a job with less security, for fear of what your partner might think, or avoiding asking for a pay rise in order to avoid appearing aggressive to your boss. Whatever the situation, you must repackage this fear.
Firstly, consider if you’re simply absorbing the fears of the other person. Is your spouse a security-conscious ‘job for life’ type? Do your teammates fear the breakup of an established group? Consider how you can help alleviate these fears – by demonstrating a clear plan, or sharing your aspirations with colleagues – so you no longer have to shoulder the burden.
Secondly, consider what aspects of your own experiences you may be projecting onto others. Are you overestimating your partner’s caution because of a parent’s past behaviour? Are you anticipating your colleagues’ reactions due to your own experience of poorly-managed change? “Nothing in life is to be feared; it is to be understood,” said Marie Curie, and fear itself is one of those things. Dissect it, in order to understand what lies beneath the feelings.
2. Fear of the unknown: “After seven years in the same role, I’m bored and unchallenged. But I love my colleagues, get on with my boss and can’t imagine doing anything else.”
At various times, everyone succumbs to the comfort zone. It might be because of life changes like having a baby, when you’re experiencing stress or health problems, just need a break from the constant ‘onwards/upwards’ mantra your workplace would like you to have.
But comfort zones become dangerous when you become so entrenched in them that you fail to seize opportunity. A common misconception is that in order to stop operating in career cruise control, you must take huge leaps into the unknown. As we explain in our workbook Step up: putting yourself forward at work, there is a happy medium.
First, lay some groundwork. Consider times when you’ve done something of which you’d previously no experience. How did it go? What did you learn? How did your feelings change, from initial discomfort to gradual acceptance of the new status quo?
Second, consider what small steps you could take to begin stretching the boundaries of your comfort zone. This process might be enough for you to summon up a huge dose of courage and make a big move. Or you might prefer to dip your toe in the water first, perhaps taking a secondment, or setting up chats with people in new departments, helping to demystify the unknown. Make a start on the everywomanNetwork workbook to work out whether you’re ready to break free of your comfort zone – and start taking positive steps to work your way out of it.
3. Fear of failure: “I didn’t get the last promotion I went for; do I want to put myself through another challenging process only to fail again?”
Nothing minimises the risk of failure quite like the potent cocktail of thorough preparation and confidence boosting self-talk.
If a negative gremlin has taken up permanent residence in your head, look for ways you can quiet it: compile a dossier of evidence of your suitability for the role, drawing on multiple resources: the feedback of bosses and clients, the many successes you’ve had in academic or business life, the strengths and talents you posses which others draw on by asking for your help. You’ll find more strategies like these in the workbook Smashing limiting beliefs.
Next, summon up the courage to look at the worst-case scenarios. In this example, it might be messing up the interview, failing to build rapport with your interviewer, and, ultimately, not getting the job. Now look for ways to minimise those risks. What can you read, who can you talk to and what can you action yourself to put in place as robust a plan as possible? For more strategies on dealing with risk, take the everywoman workbook Risk taking for greater success.
4. Fear that you’ve already achieved your best: “I know I’m good at my job, but while I like the idea of a bigger role, I think I’ve probably stretched myself as far as I can go.”
Variations on the idiom ‘You don’t know until you try’ are so universal that they’ve been attributed to figures as far-ranging as Apple Co-founder Steve Jobs, British leader Winston Churchill and 1960s band The Monkees – and many more between.
As thought-provoking as this mantra is, it’s unlikely to give comfort to someone experiencing a crisis of skills confidence. In this particular example, the writer has a solid grasp of their value. What’s called for is a deeper analysis of these strengths. Pull job descriptions off the Internet for the sorts of roles you’re considering and examine how your skills are transferable. Conduct a thorough 360-degree evaluation too, drawing on your network. If appropriate, ask your boss where he or she sees you heading; invite your mentor to throw ideas into the mix you hadn’t considered; ask a recruitment specialist where candidates with similar CVs go next.
5. Fear that you’re not good enough: “I want go freelance, but worry I’m just not good enough to cut it out there on my own.”
There could be two problems at play here, and it won’t come as surprise to hear that confidence is one. In this scenario, your goal should be building self-belief, with consistent daily practice and tasks undertaken to move you towards a place of greater self-worth.
The second is that you’ve failed to adequately goal plan, and you’re experience overwhelm by the enormity of the bigger picture (‘launch a solo career’). The crucial step here is to work backwards from that end goal, breaking it down into mini, measurable deliverables (e.g. ‘research the market’, ‘build a portfolio of work to show to clients’, ‘make financial provisions for the first few months’). Then, as that other well-known idiom dictates, simply ‘take each step at a time’.
