From staying networked throughout maternity leave to rebuilding your career confidence in the countdown to that very first nursery drop-off, heading back into the workplace after having a baby is a huge challenge for working mothers.
everywomanNetwork member Nerys Thomas shares what she learned from her own successful transition back to her role as Leonardo Senior UK Learning & Development Advisor.
I KEPT MY FOOT ON THE GAS THROUGHOUT MY PREGNANCY
When you add up your pregnancy and maternity leave you can be looking at two years out of your career, so it’s important you find ways to keep your advancement going. I had an incredibly supportive manager with whom I was able to have a
very transparent conversation about wanting to stay very much involved. So for as long as I was physically able throughout my pregnancy, I attended meetings around the UK, seeking support when I needed it, for example taking taxis
rather than the tube to get around when needed.
I also made sure to stay abreast of the recruitment of my replacement. I asked my manager to keep me informed, and I ran the eventual handover, which gave me a lot of peace of mind that my work would be in safe hands.
If your boss appears less than supportive of your development or wishes throughout pregnancy and beyond, it might be down to a lack of training or fear of saying the wrong thing. In that case, the more preparation you can do to lead
your manager, the more comfortable you’ll both be when it comes to working together on a plan of action.
DON’T GIVE YOURSELF TOO MUCH TO DO IN YOUR FINAL WEEKS AT WORK
As a born planner, I had a very clear idea how I wanted to leave my desk before I went off to have my baby, and as such I had a very long to-do list by the end. But then two things happened: firstly, as anyone who’s been pregnant knows,
there comes a point when you start to feel very heavy and tired indeed. And secondly, I went into labour two weeks early. When that happened, my first two thoughts were that there was a report I still had to type up for my boss, and
that I’d miss my own leaving party! As my husband pointed out, people would understand. But my advice to anyone else would be to go ahead and make a plan for getting everything done, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself –
handover what you can!
BE STRATEGIC ABOUT HOW YOU USE YOUR KEEPING IN TOUCH DAYS
Keeping visible was very important to me, so as soon as I felt physically able, 16 weeks after giving birth, I arranged to attend a team meeting where I’d be able to reconnect with colleagues and get some insight into what had been
happening in my absence. Co-workers naturally wanted to talk babies, but I made sure to ask a lot of questions about what they’d been working on and listening to the conversations going on around the table. I scheduled follow-up chats
with my manager in which I could get anything clarified or share any concerns.
Though I made an effort to stay in touch throughout my leave, I deliberately staggered most of my KIT days towards the end. That meant that anything I gleaned during conversations was more likely to be relevant to me on returning,
noting any potential challenges and using my thinking space back home to get my head in gear.
TAKE INFORMAL OPPORTUNITIES TO NETWORK OUTSIDE YOUR KIT DAYS
Formal meetings aside, you can learn as much about what’s going on at the company by popping in for a team lunch, a leaving do or even your work Christmas party. In those situations, you have the added benefit of re-establishing your
connections with wider peers and senior management, so that when you see them again on a more formal basis, less time has elapsed since you last spoke. I asked colleagues to keep me in the loop about any such opportunities, and by
staying socially visible, I stuck in people’s minds and invitations followed.
AS YOUR BACK TO WORK DATE ROLLS AROUND, GET INTO A POSITIVE MINDSET ABOUT RETURNING
A lot of women feel fearful about leaving their babies and returning to work, and if you spend most of your time with your mummy friends, there’s a real danger that group-think takes over and you end up dreading the day when you have to
put your baby into childcare and head back to the office. I spent a lot of time really focussing on the positives of restarting my role: feeling mentally stimulated again in a way I hadn’t been for over a year; the huge personal
satisfaction I always get from completing a task well; enjoying the adult interaction of an open plan office; reconnecting with the old me that’s more than just a mum; and the little things too like getting to drink a cup of tea while
it’s still hot! I actively coached myself into having these thoughts with the aid of a lot of self-talk.
If you’re struggling, reach out to an empathetic person from your HR or learning and development team who can coach you gradually back into the workplace.
RECOGNISE WHAT YOU’RE TAKING BACK TO THE WORKPLACE WITH YOU
A lot of mums suffer a bout of low confidence as they head back to the office. I spent a lot of time thinking about the many ways in which motherhood was going to make me an even better employee. I’d faced multiple challenges in the 12
months I’d been off work, and as a result I felt stronger, more decisive and certainly more resilient. Once back at work I found myself to be more assertive, able to better see the bigger picture and much better equipped to deal with
situations that might once have stressed or frustrated me.
PLAN YOUR FIRST FEW WEEKS VERY CAREFULLY
However good you feel about returning to work, that first time you drop your child off at childcare is absolutely heart wrenching. I took the advice of a best friend and staggered my little boy’s induction into nursery, starting with a
few hours here and there from around two weeks before my return date, and gradually building up to a whole day. This meant that by first day back in the office, we had a morning routine, the tears – both his and mine – had gone, and I
could arrive at my desk feeling professional and ready to focus, rather than worrying about how he was doing.
I also created a timetable with my husband around baby pick-ups and drop offs so that I wasn’t shouldering all the responsibility. And for the first few weeks back, I deliberately avoided making any other evening plans or seeing
friends, aware that I’d need a lot of rest time. The only exception was that I took up yoga, which ticked both the exercise and mindfulness boxes.
DIRECT HOW YOU’D LIKE YOUR HANDOVER TO WORK
I had a great replacement, who enabled me to take the handover period at my own pace. Those early days of returning are incredibly tiring, both mentally and physically, so it’s unrealistic to expect that you’ll absorb tons of
information in eight-hour sittings. Take regular breaks and don’t be afraid to ask your replacement to provide notes or repeat areas of the handover if you need it.
