In a recent poll, 66% of you told us you want to have more influence over your colleagues, and 22%, your boss (friends and relatives featured too); simply put you’d all like to have more sway in the workplace.
But when asked to rate your influencing skills from one to five, most of you scored yourselves on the lower half of the scale.
The good news is that influencing those around you can be achieved with attention to just six simple principles, based on the pioneering study ‘Top Principles Of Influence’ by American researcher Dr Robert Cialdini.
During our webinar ‘The Skills To Influence Others & Handle Difficult People’, everywoman expert and executive coach Ros Taylor outlined the principles, along with her practical tips for making them work for you right now.
1. Similarity
We relate most closely to people who are similar to us, and by extension we influence and are influenced most strongly by people with whom we share similarities. Ros boldly suggested her theory that ‘similarity’ is one of the reasons
there aren’t more women in the boardroom – male recruiters are perhaps more likely to hire in their own image (mirroring). This is where emphasising our similarities comes in; doing so allows us to turn that status quo on its head.
So, take the time to find out what commonalities you share with your colleagues – male or female – and talk to them; take them out for coffee; ask them about their families, education, backgrounds, what they love about their job. Once
you’ve found your common ground, you’ll have something to talk about next time your bump into each other in the lift or staff canteen – a sure-fire way to manoeuvring yourself into a position of future influence.
2. Likability
Smile and be pleasant. Sounds simple but you’d be surprised – or maybe you wouldn’t! – how many people let their bad moods show on the outside. Naturally, this affects the way others perceive you; people are less inclined to follow the
lead of an angry or bad-tempered person. Body language is key to showing openness and friendliness. Smile, tilt your head to one side and lean forward when someone is telling you something – it shows you’re interested in what they have
to say. Similarly, nodding as someone speaks to you demonstrates you approve of their thinking.
Ros relayed a story of the time her plane to Edinburgh – where she was due to give a presentation at a conference – was delayed. Time was running out and she really needed to squeeze onto one of the last seats on an earlier flight. As
did a fellow (male) passenger. Ros was polite but assertive with airline staff while her fellow passenger was irate and angry. Guess who got the last seat on the earlier flight?
3. Kneejerk Thinking
Engendering kneejerk thinking (by using clever trigger words) is, says Ros, key to influencing decisions in the workplace. Terms, such as ‘low cost’, ‘big savings’, ‘great ROI’, ‘customer-focused’ and ‘client-centreed’ are just some
that could work well. Next time you’re in a situation where a colleague is extending a lot of influence over a group, listen carefully to their vocabulary and make a mental note to use any relevant keywords the next time you need to get
someone on board with your point of view.
Ros relayed the story of a team within an offshore oil company who were keen to introduce an employee assistance programme, but were having trouble getting the idea signed off by senior management. Ros suggested they think about
kneejerk phrases that would engender the response they desired. The team put together a presentation using trigger phrases such as “cost effective” and “good for business” and produced a spreadsheet outlining the figures to back up
their “great ROI” guarantee. Shortly afterwards, the employee assistance programme was born.
4. Rewards
Encouraging colleagues is much more productive than criticising them. No brainer, right? Make the reward small: a thank you or a compliment. Reward people when you notice them doing something great and reward them for doing something
specific and contingent, i.e. at the point that you notice them doing it. Be genuine and be consistent – if someone else does the same thing a week later, reward that person too. Ros quoted data from a research paper that showed
performance in universities increased dramatically when students were encouraged eight times more than they were criticised.
5. Edification
This is the act of rewarding a colleague or colleagues in front of influential others. Compliment your colleague – tell them they’ve done a fantastic job or is an inspiration to work with – in front of your team. First impressions are
really important here too – sell a new member of staff to your team by edifying him or her with examples of the great experience they’re bringing to the business.
5. Enthusiasm
Think back to a time that you’ve been really influenced by another and recall the language or tone they used when discussing their idea or project – they were probably hugely enthusiastic. Mirroring this enthusiasm is an easy win to
becoming more influential. Find something that you really love about your job, even if it’s a small thing. Employ positive vocabulary; If you wake up thinking “not another 25 years in this place!” look for new opportunities or projects
you can get involved in and become enthused about.
In Summary
And so you have it. Extending your influence amongst colleagues and management in the workplace needn’t be a Herculean task. In fact, it needn’t be a task at all. As with everything, having a positive attitude will usually engender a
positive outcome. Talk to your colleagues and find out more about them in order to discover and emphasise your similarities – and maybe even put you in line for that promotion at a later date. Smile, be pleasant and display positive
body language in order to be likeable. Consider and employ kneejerk phrasing to garner the results you want. Reward and edify colleagues to encourage productivity, and show enthusiasm. In no time at all your colleagues (boss, friends
and relatives too!) will naturally want to follow your lead.
Get more crucial influencing tips in our everywoman workbook ‘Extending Your Influence‘ (log in required).
1. Similarity
We relate most closely to people who are similar to us, and by extension we influence and are influenced most strongly by people with whom we share similarities. Ros boldly suggested her theory that ‘similarity’ is one of the reasons
there aren’t more women in the boardroom – male recruiters are perhaps more likely to hire in their own image (mirroring). This is where emphasising our similarities comes in; doing so allows us to turn that status quo on its head.
So, take the time to find out what commonalities you share with your colleagues – male or female – and talk to them; take them out for coffee; ask them about their families, education, backgrounds, what they love about their job. Once
you’ve found your common ground, you’ll have something to talk about next time your bump into each other in the lift or staff canteen – a sure-fire way to manoeuvring yourself into a position of future influence.
2. Likability
Smile and be pleasant. Sounds simple but you’d be surprised – or maybe you wouldn’t! – how many people let their bad moods show on the outside. Naturally, this affects the way others perceive you; people are less inclined to follow the
lead of an angry or bad-tempered person. Body language is key to showing openness and friendliness. Smile, tilt your head to one side and lean forward when someone is telling you something – it shows you’re interested in what they have
to say. Similarly, nodding as someone speaks to you demonstrates you approve of their thinking.
Ros relayed a story of the time her plane to Edinburgh – where she was due to give a presentation at a conference – was delayed. Time was running out and she really needed to squeeze onto one of the last seats on an earlier flight. As
did a fellow (male) passenger. Ros was polite but assertive with airline staff while her fellow passenger was irate and angry. Guess who got the last seat on the earlier flight?
3. Kneejerk Thinking
Engendering kneejerk thinking (by using clever trigger words) is, says Ros, key to influencing decisions in the workplace. Terms, such as ‘low cost’, ‘big savings’, ‘great ROI’, ‘customer-focused’ and ‘client-centreed’ are just some
that could work well. Next time you’re in a situation where a colleague is extending a lot of influence over a group, listen carefully to their vocabulary and make a mental note to use any relevant keywords the next time you need to get
someone on board with your point of view.
Ros relayed the story of a team within an offshore oil company who were keen to introduce an employee assistance programme, but were having trouble getting the idea signed off by senior management. Ros suggested they think about
kneejerk phrases that would engender the response they desired. The team put together a presentation using trigger phrases such as “cost effective” and “good for business” and produced a spreadsheet outlining the figures to back up
their “great ROI” guarantee. Shortly afterwards, the employee assistance programme was born.
4. Rewards
Encouraging colleagues is much more productive than criticising them. No brainer, right? Make the reward small: a thank you or a compliment. Reward people when you notice them doing something great and reward them for doing something
specific and contingent, i.e. at the point that you notice them doing it. Be genuine and be consistent – if someone else does the same thing a week later, reward that person too. Ros quoted data from a research paper that showed
performance in universities increased dramatically when students were encouraged eight times more than they were criticised.
5. Edification
This is the act of rewarding a colleague or colleagues in front of influential others. Compliment your colleague – tell them they’ve done a fantastic job or is an inspiration to work with – in front of your team. First impressions are
really important here too – sell a new member of staff to your team by edifying him or her with examples of the great experience they’re bringing to the business.
5. Enthusiasm
Think back to a time that you’ve been really influenced by another and recall the language or tone they used when discussing their idea or project – they were probably hugely enthusiastic. Mirroring this enthusiasm is an easy win to
becoming more influential. Find something that you really love about your job, even if it’s a small thing. Employ positive vocabulary; If you wake up thinking “not another 25 years in this place!” look for new opportunities or projects
you can get involved in and become enthused about.
In Summary
And so you have it. Extending your influence amongst colleagues and management in the workplace needn’t be a Herculean task. In fact, it needn’t be a task at all. As with everything, having a positive attitude will usually engender a
positive outcome. Talk to your colleagues and find out more about them in order to discover and emphasise your similarities – and maybe even put you in line for that promotion at a later date. Smile, be pleasant and display positive
body language in order to be likeable. Consider and employ kneejerk phrasing to garner the results you want. Reward and edify colleagues to encourage productivity, and show enthusiasm. In no time at all your colleagues (boss, friends
and relatives too!) will naturally want to follow your lead.
Get more crucial influencing tips in our everywoman workbook ‘Extending Your Influence‘ (log in required). 
