When confidence coach and everywoman award winner Danielle Drozd decided she wanted to change how she felt, she looked to practical ways to raise her confidence levels. Embracing her fears, questioning them and then making sustained, mindful changes she learned that confidence is a journey that can be built from small steps. Her new book Confidence Through Courage discusses what it takes to create a confident outlook and how fear can actually be your best friend in personal growth.
“I’d define confidence as a feeling more than anything, and one created from a journey that takes you from being afraid to taking action. Fear doesn’t go away – it’s how we embrace it and transform it that is important; courage is having the ability to do that. Without courage you can’t have confidence because you need that mindset, that ability to say, ‘I believe in myself, I can do this – I just need to try’.
It was my nine-year-old niece that first planted the seed in my head to write this book. Her new teacher had asked the students to introduce themselves and talk about a family member, and she had introduced me as her “Auntie Danielle, who has got confidence”. That was the first time I actually thought of myself as being confident, because until then I hadn’t categorised the things I had worked to achieve to as ‘building confidence’.
I wrote the book at the beginning of 2017 and it took me three months. My first book took me a year to write, but this one just flowed because I was so excited about it. There are two common schools of thought about confidence – people think you are born confident, but that’s not true. And the other is that you can’t learn confidence, but you really can – although you have to have signposts.
When I decided I wanted to change how I felt and my behaviours – early in my career in supply chain and logistics – I started by asking myself how I could push myself out of my comfort zone. I did it by setting myself one thing to do each day that scared me. These were small, simple things – for example, one of the challenges I set myself was that in a lift I would make eye contact and say hello to the other people instead of putting my head down to the floor. Even doing this a few times helped me to feel more confident and energised.
I also set myself different targets to build my confidence – and I was actually able to do a lot of it through my work, whether that was going to external meetings or deciding to be a rep for something internal. I put my energy into a lot of extra-curricular stuff above and beyond my scope of work to push myself, setting up a networking group and running a charity for a women’s refuge in Northampton, for example, which meant I had to go out and talk to people and bring them together.
Confidence is the internal energy that makes the external things happen. In 2013, a friend of mine suggested that I put myself forward for an everywoman award, and listed all the things I had achieved and done on my journey to confidence. Winning the Innovation and Sustainability award that year was pivotal for me – because even though it represented my successes in the workplace, for me it was very much an award for internal growth.”
Life presents us with challenges all the time, but it’s up to you if you accept them. Before acceptance, there is fear. This will always be there. It’s the feeling of the impossible task, that you’re not good enough or that you’ll fail. To know the outcome, you have to take action and try.
Danielle Drozd, Confidence Through Courage